Authenticity:

I've been thinking about this word.
I know it's a word that gets thrown around a lot.

If you read my last post, (or my first post, depending on your angle,) you know that "authenticity" is what you can expect here. And, it's true. I believe that I am authentic.

To see if the word was a good description of myself, of course I had to look up several definitions of the word… because that's what you do when you are fascinated with words and when you want to use words to make a living and when you desperately want to correctly articulate the thoughts that you think. You look up words.

So, I looked up the word. Honestly, I felt a little nervous. What if it really means something other than what I thought it meant? What if I've been using it wrong all this time? What if who I am actually doesn't match the definition very well? Good grief… what if?
(I'll talk more about that another day, I'm sure.)

(You know, with our technology these days, it really only takes a few minutes to do a fair amount of word study. I highly suggest looking up words more often!) 


Here are some of the definitions that came up:

Authenticity: Noun - The quality of being authentic; not false or copied; genuine; real.

"Representing one’s true nature or beliefs; true to oneself or to the person identified."

From Wikipedia: "...Authenticity is the degree to which one is true to one's own personality, spirit, or character, despite external pressures…."

Synonyms: reliability, dependability, trustworthiness,

credibility; accuracy, truth, veracity, fidelity, bona fide… (I like that last one!)

~

I contemplated all of this. I even talked it over with my husband, which can be a dangerous thing. All you married people know what I mean! And, I can still say that I believe I am truly authentic. Not perfectly all of these things, but true to myself, no doubt.



However, I only know that I am authentic because I spent so may years not being it. 



Authenticity is one of those things that you don't really know what it is until you know what it is not.

So, here are some antonyms for you:

Counterfeit, fake, false, ungenuine, unreal, imitation, artificial, forged, phony…. 


Ugly, isn't it?

I spent many years like that.
I wanted to be something that I wasn't.
I wanted to be what people wanted me to be.
And I did that because I didn't know who I was or how much I was loved.


I wish I could share with you my entire testimony and everything God has done in my heart, but it's already past my bedtime. However, I will say this: you will never know who you are or how much you are loved until you allow yourself to be vulnerable. 

As Brene Brown says, and I agree here, "Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path."

Authenticity requires vulnerability. 

Make no mistake, vulnerability is not easy or comfortable. Often times it hurts, and open us up to hurt. But, it is a prerequisite to authenticity. 



I love to read to my kids. I have fond memories of my parents reading to me as a child and I believe reading to our kids is one of the best ways to set them up for success in their education.
All of you parents know that there are some children's books that we read that hit us adults straight in the heart. The Velveteen Rabbit is one of those books for me. You know the excerpt...

~

"Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'

'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit. 

'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.' 

'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?' 

'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

~

Goodness… RIGHT IN THE HEART, I tell you! 

Being real, or "authentic", doesn't come easy and it doesn't happen fast. 

Think about that next time you meet someone that you gather is truly genuine. They probably have a story to tell. 

And when you meet someone who "breaks easily, or has sharp edges, or who has to be carefully kept," pray for them because they probably do not know who they are or how much they are loved. 

I don't write all this to convince you that I am authentic. I know a blog spot can never do that. 

(Getting to know me can do that, and if you should know anything about me, you should know I love to make real life friends!) I simply write this because it's something that's on my mind, and because it seems congruent with my last post. 

I'm not perfect and I try to hide sometimes. Being vulnerable has left me with more than a few scars. But, I've learned enough to know that if something is rolling around in my mind, then there's likely someone else who could benefit from it being brought into the light. 
…or maybe not, but hopefully. 

Thanks for reading.